Go Away, Census Guy
Stupid
The recent national Census is the first one I've participated in. Well, okay, so technically it's the first one I have not participated in.
It just might be valid for the government to wish to know an exact population figure, and perhaps some of the questions have valid usage as policy guides (for example, the education level of the population), but on the whole the Census is a giant pile of invasive shit.
None of the information that the government might need requires personal identification; nobody needs to know if me, Mike Warren, is gay or aboriginal or works part-time or takes public transit or his bicycle to work or is married or where he works. While I may be perfectly willing to answer such questions in an anonymous survey, or to tell people voluntarily whether I use the transit system, forcing me to answer such questions is absurd.
While it may be useful to know that 10% of the population uses public transit, such data can easily be determined from the transit system itself. While some might like to know if 10% of the population describes themselves as gay, that's not the government's business. While the number of part-time employees might be a nice figure to have, this can either be gleaned from businesses or voluntary personal surveys. While businesses might like to know the average income of a neighborhood, they should find out themselves (if people are willing to tell them).
Of course, Statistics Canada would absolutely love to have a whole bunch of almost-100% accurate personal information. Why? So they can sell it. ``Businesses and governments use census data extensively when developing plans and policies; life insurance companies base their premium tables on census age data.'' they say in answer to the Frequently Asked Question, ``why''. Well, too bad for businesses and ``life insurance companies''; they'll just have to do their own market research, I guess. Government will just have to consult with constituents when developing policy.
Illegal?
It turns out, however, that it's actually illegal to do what we did with our Census: cleaned up spilled beer.
Constitutionally, the Census is used only for determining the electoral districts; at most, the location and number of people is not needed (i.e. ``how many people live here?''). Their names, addresses, ages, income, work habits, sexual habits, ethnic origin, religion or any of the other crap asked for in the Census is needed for this purpose. Even if it were, there is no reason to make these data available to ``businesses, life insurance companies, farmers or manufacturers''.
Furthermore, the Census should only occur every 10 years according to the Constitution, not every five like it does now.
Of course, Statistics Canada likes to pretend that ``the law protects your information''. This is, of course, simply untrue since the law does no such thing. As Chief Wiggum says, ``the law is powerless to help you''. While it certainly may be able to punish people who incorrectly handle the data, this does not ``protect'' the data; nor does the law ``protect'' the data from theft (electronic or otherwise). Such claims are mere lunacy, and are no different from claiming that the law ``protects'' people from rape, murder or burglary.
But Eric, our local Census hard-head, will have none of it. He has replaced our beer-soaked census for a fresh, shiny (but now scribbled-on) new one and promises at least two more visits. Then, we look forward to up to three visits from his superior before being subjected to the full-time harassment of someone whose job it is to get Census information from people (yes, full-time).
Effective use of tax dollars? I think not. Hopefully our notice will deter them.
Update
Eric came by a couple days after the notice was taped to the inside of our screen door. My room-mate ``wasn't home'' hiding out in the kitchen. After many unsuccessful door-bell rings, Eric mistakenly thought he was invited in, and proceeded to remove the notice and rush back to his car with the booty to fill out forms.
We subsequently received a notice from the regional director of information theft which asked if we could please fill out our forms double-quick. My brother -- fearing for his criminal record -- apparently phoned in his answers. I, at least, remain unbothered.