Problematic Movies

January 06, 1997 |

Squealing Car Tires

Ever notice that car tires always squeal in movies (especially low-budget or cheesy ones)? I mean, you have to really try to get a mini-van's tires to squeal (especially on gravel...) So, movie-makers: don't put tire-squeal soundsin a movie every time a car moves or turns a corner.

"Bad Guy" Guns

Another annoying movie trait is the fact that a two-foot railing with huge gaps in it can block automatic weapon fire as long as the "bad guys" are shooting and the "good guys" are behind it. Also, Bad Guys always seem to fire behind the Good Guys, especially when they are using a nice, big gattling gun or something. The corresponding Good Guy Guns can kill a Bad Guy from any distance. They also don't run out of ammo, especially if it is a 6-shooter wielded by Clint Eastwood.

Movie Reviews

Not really a problem with movies, but hey. I really hate movie reviews which basically give a plot-summary; if I want to know the entire movie's plot I'll go see the damn thing. A review should explain to the reader what the reviewer liked and didn't like about the movie, not where the plot-events were. If you absolutely must explain a piece of plot to make your point, try not to blow the entire movie.

Movie Ratings

Indicative perhaps of the "American way" (i.e. keep a loaded weapon nearby at all times) are the rating schemes for movies. I rented a movie the other night rated R for nudity and language. There was basically no nudity (about four seconds of breast...) and the language wasn't really that bad. Another movie, rated PG-13 for violence and occasional language involving many shoot-outs and quite graphic depictions of people getting shot at. I would much rather have children watching the occasional nude scene than bullets entering people's chests. But maybe that's just me...


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