Wash This!
The big question: to wash or not to wash. It really boils down to checking whether anyone is watching. And really, what's a little dabbling under the cold water tap going to do?
The Procedure
You walk into the wash-room, and, using Dave Barry's infamous "urinal calculus", select an appropriate receptacle for your piss. If you aim correctly, spit-back will be minimized and you walk away unscathed. Assume, however, that all are not so lucky and the last man in wasn't such a good shot. Now, his piss-covered hand recently touched one of the taps, presumably the cold one, before being dabbled in the cold stream. His still-dirty hand then touches the same tap again, before dispensing paper-towel to perform an inadequate job of drying his hands. He then touches the door handle on the way out.
A Dilemma
The question is, do you play tap-roulette and try to do a good job washing, or just forgo the wash, prop the door open with your foot and try to resist the temptation to pick food from your teeth? Quite a dilemma. Of course, there are similar tales cropping up all the time.